From Self-Care to Self-Compassion
Woman gently caressing herself inside a blanket
We have all heard it before: do more self-care, take some time for self-care, or try these menu of options to help you relieve your stress. While we may have received these recommendations from well-meaning friends and family, given our time constraints to juggle it all, we may not have the time nor motivation to “add” more self-care. It can start to feel like “oh great, now I need to do this to be a better: friend, spouse, mother, father, employee, human”. When we internalize these expectations and are unable to meet them, it can bring on feelings of anxiety, sadness, shame, self-criticism, insecurity and feeling like we are not good enough.
There are times when self-care quick fixes do not work. What if we don’t have time to add one more “to do” during our day? What if we don’t want to add anything else to our already busy days? What are ways to cope with stress during the pandemic without increasing our mental and work load? How can I comfort and care for myself in this moment? Try self-compassion as a healthy alternative. Many of us are excellent about offering compassion, warmth and caring to others, how about giving ourselves that same compassion.
Self-compassion is a form of empowerment, a mindset shift and a way to build resilience. Self-compassion means treating yourself like you would a friend, being more mindful of our emotional state and understanding our situation in the larger context, keeping it in perspective. Self-compassion means being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or harshly criticizing ourselves.
We are not perfect beings, self-compassion reminds us to be gentle with ourselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than turning that anger onto ourselves.
Try reminding yourself:
“I’m surviving a pandemic and am doing the best I can”
“I lost it today, it was a snap-shot of my day, I’m still a good person”
“Maybe I can take a few minutes to myself and do what I can”
“I am willing to try again”
If you’re struggling with self-compassion you can also create your own affirmations for those particularly rough days.
Some examples include:
“I am allowed the space to feel sad”
“I am in control of how I respond to my emotions”
“I’m allowed to ask for help if I need it”
“I’ve had difficult days before, I can get through this”
Remind yourself that feelings will come and go like clouds in the sky; we can experience feelings such as grief and joy at the same time, abundance and overwhelm also. Make space for all your feelings and recognize that they can overlap. Some would argue that self-compassion is a form of self-care. Having said that, we all could use some self-compassion breaks.
Any mistakes or failure that we perceive is actually a normal and healthy aspect of the human experience. Life is hard enough without the pressure of shame, self-judgement and comparison. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s ok if you can’t do more today and decide to just be.
Don’t miss out on your opportunity to begin your self-care and self-compassion, book a free consultation below to get started.
