Work-Life Balance: Is it a myth?

Mother with baby sitting in a chair in front of a laptop

If there were ever a time that the topic of work-life balance was thrusted to the forefront, 2020 was it! 2020, the year of a once in a century pandemic. The year where work life balance took on a whole new level of importance.  Over the years and especially during the pandemic, my vision of work-life balance has changed.  

As you can imagine, the pandemic has made many people, particularly women rethink their roles. Not only do we have to navigate health and safety concerns, many of us have had to adapt to sudden changes in our work environments all while parenting and educating our children from home.  Depending on the circumstances, some of us have had to make the very difficult decision of leaving the work force to maintain familial and household demands.

For years, I struggled with the concept of work-life balance. The pandemic not only heightened my awareness of this issue but also challenged the problematic conceptualization that there is such a thing as work life balance.  As a young professional I worked tirelessly, convinced that my worth was tied to long hours, thinking that I was a better person for working myself to exhaustion.  As a consequence of that mindset, I found myself tired, unhappy and disconnecting from other important areas and relationships in my life.  It was at that point that I knew it was time to re-evaluate my relationship with productivity and how it impacted my self-worth and what I valued.  The realization was setting in that my personal and work life were out of balance.  

As a daughter of immigrants who worked tirelessly towards a better a future, I grew up with a strong work ethic and the mindset of believing that I should work hard, and be grateful for my job no matter how difficult or dissatisfied I was. Achievements were prioritized over passion for a job; not pursuing your dreams in order to be practical was expected. Growing up in a hierarchical family where I learned almost from infancy that my opinion often didn't matter, it made it extremely difficult to disagree with a supervisor or a superior. Further, having been raised in an environment that praised social perception and not to talk about personal struggles in the work place, only added to shame and self-blame for working in a dissatisfying work environment. After graduating college, I landed that new job, and began to understand that working in overly competitive and challenging work environments didn’t sit well with me personally and professionally.  That mindset that I had carried since childhood didn’t serve me well when trying to create boundaries, resting when needed, when it came time to advocating for myself or negotiating a better salary.  I was so focused on producing and working beyond my capacity that I lost sight of what mattered to me.  

In life, there is rarely equal balance to the many hats we wear, i.e. employee, employer, parent, son or daughter, spouse, significant other, partner, friend and sibling. Between life’s ebbs and flows, demands that take up more of our time is a necessary part of human life.  I’ve learned that what needed to happen to better serve my version of balance was identify what was priority in my life and create boundaries around that.  If I didn’t want to work 24/7, then I needed to limit myself and hold myself accountable to not over work and find joy in other areas of my life.  By implementing boundaries and keeping myself accountable, I was able to live my life according to my values and ultimately not neglect myself or other important areas in my life.  

Although work-life balance can lately seem like a buzz word, trying to make it seem that there was a balance was just not possible for me and starting to sound more like a myth. Ultimately what worked for me and what may work for others would be to examine the areas of your life or parts of yourself that may need more attention. Aligning with values and priorities made a world of difference in my life and adjusting my expectations that things can temporarily be out of balance is Ok.  Many of us have been through difficult and demanding times, but remembering our prior successes and strengths during those difficult times is proof that we can manage with what comes our way.  

If you’re ready to include your needs and create a space in your work-life balance equation, let’s start mapping that out for you. Book your free 20 minute phone consultation below.