New Year, Same Burnout
Burnout is multifaceted; a result of strained multiple systems, cultural embedded ways of thinking and trying to survive a pandemic.
Burnout care and management will require us to look at different areas of our lives to address the various realms we are struggling with.
This time of year can bring much self reflection on what to do with your life in the upcoming year. You may have thought about New Years resolutions, new intentions, starting fresh, focusing on the new year and new you vibes. If you’re struggling looking forward to the rest of 2022, you’re not alone. This January, many of the people I’ve worked with have shared how demoralized they are feeling and burnt out from their job, political climate, health care systems and personal life demands. Some have struggled with motivation, feeling inspired and setting new professional and personal goals. I think it’s safe to say that many of us have had a slow and rocky start to January. Perhaps you’re not as rejuvenated and refreshed as you hoped for.
What you’re feeling is completely understandable, acceptable and more importantly, completely normal.
Burnout is often used to describe toxic job environments and how an employee is feeling. However, burnout at our job is not the only place we experience it. We can experience burnout with: family relationships, parenting, social media, news/media, pandemic, non-family relationships, healthcare, helping and giving to others.
Consider asking yourself what have you been juggling lately. Write down for thirty seconds without stopping, all the things you have been juggling. Like many individuals and families you may be juggling school, work, taking care of family, COVID-19, news, and relationships. There are times we don’t even realize everything that we are managing and wondering why we feel so exhausted. One of the first steps of acknowledging burnout is identifying what all you are doing and how you are feeling about it. How are you feeling throughout your day and with all that you’re juggling? Do you wonder why you are emotionally exhausted and spent? When it comes to burnout people want out of that situation as fast as humanly possible. I get it, pain and stress is overwhelming and we do our best to avoid feeling it and living it.
To get a better understanding on the ways burnout impacts you, let’s take a look at various domains in our lives that might need increased attention and addressed with self-compassion.
Physical-recognizing the need for physical activity, diet, sleep and nutrition
Environmental-recognizing the need for pleasant, supportive or nature environments that promote well-being
Occupational-personal satisfaction and enrichment derived from one’s work
Spiritual-search for meaning and purpose in the human experience, prayer, connection, attending places of worship
Psychological-recognizing the need for engaging in activities that contribute to mental wellness such as meditation, therapy, self-reflection, boundary setting
Emotional-developing strategies and skills to cope, stress management
Financial-satisfaction with current and future financial situations, managing finances, money beliefs
Interpersonal-connecting with community and a well developed support system
What domains resonate most with you? Without some level awareness of your mind and body, you might start thinking that there might be something wrong with your health for example, or blaming yourself for being forgetful, spending more money or overwhelmed with what seems like small tasks at work or sleeping all the time. Pay attention to your body. Are you listening? What are you noticing? Early warning signs of tiredness, feeling socially drained, physically under the weather, lack of focus are jut a few bodily reminders that dedicated attention is needed in one or more of the above domains. Listen to your body to tell you what it needs. Do you need more sleep, need to adjust your sleep routine, turn off your phone or Slack notifications? Do you need to connect with community, your place of worship? What actions can you take to address what your body needs?
Learning to listen to your body will help you sustain steady coping during these challenging times. The goal is to recognize capacity and what is sustainable.
We cannot underestimate the importance and necessity of self-compassion at the present moment. Self-compassion involves acting the same way you would act towards others and towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, failing or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Practicing self-compassion can help you become more motivated, self-assured and confident. As well as helping to calm your nerves, taking time to rest and nurture yourself can have a positive impact on the way you perceive yourself. In other words, treating yourself with kindness can make you view yourself in a kinder manner and be more available for yourself and others.
Self-compassion may seem foreign for some of us to practice, particularly if you didn’t observe acts of self-compassion in your family of origin. For some folks who may have grown up with harsh words and criticism, their self-talk and perception may not be so loving towards themself. Over time continued self-criticism and negative judgment will contribute to burnout. Furthermore as a child you may have learned that you need to power through stress, even when it’s unhealthy and takes its toll on you. Even with debilitating anxiety, asking for help was not an option and you learned to get things done at all costs. If you watched your parents power through, chase security and safety to survive, asking for help to manage your stress may have felt weak, trivial and unimportant. Your parents may have believed that burnout is a first world problem compared to the traumatic stress they experienced. Being praised for being independent and resilient far outweighed praise for help-seeking behaviors and requests for strategies to self-soothe.
Our learned narratives surrounding help-seeking behaviors and support may have started in childhood, but we can continue to expand and grow our views around how we care for ourselves when it comes to burnout. Unlearning those childhood narratives will be important to allow self-compassion to become a regular practice.
You can start by trying self-reflection:
Is criticism, “pull up by the bootstraps” mentality and comments something I would say to a child?
Does harshly talking to myself bring me closer to my goal of addressing my burnout with some flexibility and self-compassion?
If my loved one was experiencing burnout what would I say and how can I apply it to me?
Continue to shift your perspective and focus on what is possible rather than what isn’t. Think about what you’re going to choose to do, instead of what you’re not going to do. Will it in involve more fun and play? Will you start with some new boundaries to address relationship dynamics? Will you follow uplifting news instead of doom scroll on social media? What can you bring to your relationships?
Taking steps to address your burnout is a sign of strength, resilience and self-compassion in action. You are showing you care.
Self-compassion takes practice, but remember your thoughts are not facts. When we think harshly of ourselves, we may feel scared and avoid the goals we are trying to pursue. Notice when your thoughts wander towards criticism and self-judgement and ask yourself how you can turn that around to speak kindly to yourself.
Small steps, spurts of coping and finding moments of joy can protect us from those moments of uncertainty and stress that we have all been living through. We may not have a cure to address being overworked when we have to show up for our job daily or the power to make changes to systems beyond our individual control, but we can focus our energies on how we can show up in a rested and healthier way. Sure new year resolution ideas are great, but creating doable, reasonable, actionable goals are more feasible and you will feel more successful having accomplished those. All those action steps are building blocks towards change to soothe yourself when you are experiencing burnout. My hope for you this year is that you continue to prioritize your well-being rooted in self-compassion and trust in yourself to make informed decisions on your wellness journey.
If your burnout is beyond what is manageable in your daily life, please feel free to reach out to myself or a licensed therapist to discuss how you can feel less burnout.
Ready for burnout relief? Book a free consultation below.
